Soft Rocker

Kids are so noisy. Really, really noisy. In fact, if it's a contest between one of those requisite NYC jackhammers pounding away on a busy corner or a houseful of kids, I might have to opt for the jackhammer as less painful to the ear. My point? Kids are noisy enough by themselves; they need no noisemaking toys of any kind.

Noisemaking toys include musical ones, at least until the kid can take lessons and see music as a serious pursuit. But I'm a not a big enough meanie to disturb their pretend play. That's why this rockin' guitar, made of fabric and stuffing, is so ideal. It comes complete with a handy strap for hanging and strumming. It's covered with skulls and crossbones, giving it a folksy edginess, like a guitar quilted by Heavy Metal Grandma. And, best of all, when the kid wants to really stay in character and wreck his or her "hotel room," this oversized pillow can't do much damage. So let the little wailers channel Pete Townsend anytime they'd like.

Seriously, this is so superior to the plastic noisemakers! Find it at www.huset-shop.com.

Totally Rockin' Totes

Once your little girl gets to be around seven or so, she has stuff. Stuff for camp, stuff for school, stuff for sleepovers, sports and just hauling around town. She's loaded for bear and bearing life's essentials. The one thing you know for sure: you don't want to get stuck carrying her stuff.

So take a look at these super cool metallic totes. Sure, they're not Louis Vuitton (if they were, and you were considering purchasing them for your kid, you'd be an idiot, no?), but they combine a classic simplicity of shape with that metallic flash girls covet. That means she'll be able to locate her "stuff" with a minimal amount of fuss, while keeping her fashion I.Q. at high levels.

And did I mention the price? At just ten bucks a pop, these bags are cheap enough to buy in multiples. They'd also make a great "wrapping" for a girl's birthday gift. See them at www.juvieshop.com. It's the ultimate carry all for the shiny happy girl in your life.

Summer Romper Room

There are certain fashion items that only look good on kids, but are dragged out to be sold to adults anyway (case in point: my Lilly Pulitzer entry). The romper certainly fits that category. Recently, I was in a store and the saleswoman held up a romper for my inspection. I had to inform that I was too old to wear that; that I was too old to wear a romper at 20.

Now, a romper on a little girl is a completely different matter. Take this romper, from Chasing Fireflies. Done in basic black, its off the shoulder design (with smart straps to keep the thing on) transforms the romper from a preschool item to elegance. Really, this romper looks like Halston for little girls. It's adorable. And it's practical, too. My girl doesn't like skirts or dresses anymore (she has a tendency to end up upside down), so the shorts aspect of romper really work for her. Once she's upright again, she'll look femme and ready for dinner.

I've only seen this fashionista item at www.chasing-fireflies.com. It's $48, which might seem steep, until you realize that it's a complete outfit she can do anything in. All she needs now are some gladiator sandals and she's ready for action.

Magnetic Blockage

While every new parent runs around like a chicken with its head cut off, reading the latest research on childhood development and looking for the toy to transform Junior into the next generation's great genius, the basic wisdom of the ages gets lost in the frenzy.

I'm talking about the best toy for kids ever: blocks. Blocks are a two fold toy, boosting both motor skills and brainpower. They are simple and reliable. They can even be esthetically pleasing. And these blocks by Tegu incorporate a new wrinkle: magnets. The magnets hidden in the blocks allow building at new angles and altitudes. Junior can build anything from little people (above) to operational vehicles and truly suspended suspension bridges. Now that's an educational toy! Plus, Tegu blocks are decorative enough for all you fussy parents in your pristine mid-century houses (I'll let you have your delusions of decor for the time being).

Tegu tends to sell out fast; they just got a shipment in and they're probably going to sell out soon. Check them out at www.tegu.com. And get started on building a blockade.

You'll Never Find a Cuter Scooter

Although The Toad came of age in the vile '80s, and ultimately eschewed ladylike preppie prints for goth hair and ripped jeans, those pink and green hues still hold some appeal. And if you have a little girl, the east coast siren call of prepdom becomes even more irresistible.

Because, let's face facts: if you tried to don some loudly patterned mini skort and wander down your main drag, you'd just look like an ass. Your eight to ten year old girl, on the other hand, will look simply adorable. Angelic. Ready for the primetime tennis club action. And that's why this Lilly Pulitzer printed "scooter" (a polite WASP word for "skort") is so perfect. Made in mini-kiddie sizes, it perfectly displays your girl's cute dimpled knees in an innocent way. Plus, she can still play tennis and hang upside down in the thing.

The Lilly Pulitzer scooter comes in two styles, but this one is best (the other boasts bows, which cannot be worn with true irony). Find this current release of a preppie relic at www.garnethill.com.

Developmental Dilemmas Solved By the Book

Childhood is often hard on everyone. The kid is constantly grappling with the new, the challenging, the potentially terrifying. And the parents are dealing with constant change and conflict.

Here's a handy tool to help guide your child through difficult moments. They're books, but not books for you. Instead, the Change is Strange book series gives your kid a personalized guide through major milestones, such as giving up the pacifier, dealing with the parents going away for much needed r&r, or adjusting to the reality of a new sibling on the way. The web site makes the process simple: just choose the book you'd like, fill out the online form, and a book which directly reflects your kid's life arrives in the mail. For instance, the pacifier volume boasts your child's name, nickname for their "binky," and plenty of other pertinent info. And given a child's deep self-involvement, they're far more likely to respond to this personalized plea for stoppage than from some ordinary picture book written for the immature masses.

Check out all the titles on www.changeisstrange.com. Because sometimes, it's best to solve problems by the book.

FREE Kid-Friendly Haggadah!

Passover is getting ready to pass over, and while there's much to look forward to in terms of the Passover Seder, the kids squirming in agony isn't one of them. The whole process is just baffling to the little ones, especially the all important Haggadah. Incomprehensible!

Until now. Finally, there's a kid-friendly Haggadah that makes the Seder a truly family friendly activity (as long as you're not too much of a traditionalist). Introducing My Haggadah: Made It Myself, a kid version of the weighty tome filled with accessible activities and explanations. Plus, in its PDF downloadable format, it's FREE! Yes, you heard right: FREE. You can download it, print the puppies out, copy them, and bring them to your Seder for all kids to enjoy. What a perfect price for Passover peace.

Go to www.madeitmyselfbooks.com and download your copy today. Now all you need to do is hide the matzoh and kick back with the soup and brisket.

Cool Baby

There always seem to be more babies being born. And more baby showers to attend. While that ultra-luxe baby wipe warmer seems like a good idea, I have a better one.

Try this CityShade stroller sun blocker out for size. All infants need plenty of airing (actually, maybe it's the new moms who really need the airing, but baby has to come along), but the babes don't need the nasty sun in their eyes, or cold wind in the face. This ingenious CityShade fits on top of most of those new mommy mega-strollers, and works perfectly to keep them snoozing comfortably. They're pediatrician recommended, so those safety fuss pots will be satisfied. And they come in a variety of colors (although, as gothy as The Toad can be, she does not recommend the black one since it'll really retain heat).

Check out the CityShades at www.citymum.com. And keep baby a cool customer and away from the chemical sunscreen.

No Paas for Easter

Ah, Easter. How The Toad loves the chocolate, bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and egg dyeing parties. And your kids love them, too.

But here's a thought: what exactly is in those Paas Easter Egg dying kits that make those eggs so brilliantly colored (and dye your kid's hands for days as well)? I'm pretty sure it's nothing good for a body. That's why the eco-brand Eco-Kids has come up with its Eco-Egg Dyeing Kit. Working in a similar fashion to the dreck you pick up in your market's Easter aisle, these color pellets are created from shades found on Mother Earth. Using organic dyes from produce like red cabbage, blueberries, potatoes and more, those eggs will be beautiful and FDA-color-number-whatever FREE. It's enough to make a bunny hop around in rhapsody.

Celebrate Spring organically at www.eco-kidsusa.com. And give a pass to the Paas.

Sugar High

So the term "sugar high" is not really something most parents advocate; it implies kids bouncing off the walls and multiple dental visits (although there's really no scientific evidence for the former). But Toad begs of you to make an exception for this cookbook.

First off, teaching kids the proper way around a kitchen is a great thing, a skill they'll carry with them for the rest of their lives (you're teaching them to feed themselves, after all). And what better way to pique interest than with dessert? Children are little sugar cravers, and a bit now and then, for the purpose of kitchen knowledge, is permitted. This cookbook is amazing, chock full of really yummy recipes that kids will want to make and parents won't mind eating, either. The recipe for the New York, New York Crumbcake alone is reason enough to gift this book to a deserving child (this cake will blow your diet and blood sugar sky high, but it's soooo worth it).

Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Desserts for Kids really does deliver for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Get ready to watch the flour fly and your waistband expand. Find it at www.chroniclebooks.com. And keep the goo flowing.

Thinking Out of The Box

Parents are desperate. There, I've said it. They are desperate for stuff to occupy their children so that they might have a somewhat civilized lunch or dinner out, or converse with a non-child owning friend.

The problem is, of course, that parents end up toting the world around with them in order to care for and entertain their kinder. This might be good for the super-sized tote companies, but it's bad for backs and convenience. Why not think outside the box? Like this Matchbox Theater by Leafcutter Designs. Each Matchbox Theater comes complete with tiny puppets fashioned from non-operational matches, an explanation of the characters, and a script. It's ideal if you have older children, who can direct as the younger kids demonstrate their puppet chops.

There are many rather intellectual and quirky productions to choose from, or you can design your own. Order one today at www.leafcutterdesigns.com, and carry an entire theater in your pocket.

An Earful

If you've ever had to deal with a kid suffering from an earache, you know the true meaning of the term "powerless." There really is nothing sadder than a small child caught in the painful throes of ear pain, tears a-rolling, asking "Mommy, make it go away."

It made me quake inside. Then I stopped being a bad mommy and a ninny in general and got down to business. One of the best home remedies for an earache, it turns out, is hot, moist heat. And that means a hot water bottle in some incarnation. While most hot water bottles are too big and smelly (the scent of warm rubber doesn't really improve anything), this little travel one, covered in what the website terms "minky" is the ideal size for placing on a small child's ear. And boy, does it work. They stop crying fast, you can get some Advil down them, and then you and yours get a reprieve until the doctor visit in the morning. The little hot water bottle is a life saver.

Find this "minky" version, in gender appropriate pink or blue, at www.fashionhot.com. And be the super mom who makes the hurt go away.

A Whale of a Time

Do you know a kid who's bored with Legos, who's done with construction, and who's longing for a meaningful imaginative play gift? No? Well, you might want to consider this fabulous set anyway.

This whole shebang is like living "Free Willy." Or, "Rescue Willy," if you will. The Whale Rescue Mission puts a powerful Killer Whale in danger, and only the child, equipped with a boat, a helicopter, a rig, and a crew, can save him from disaster. The whale's jaw moves, so it can articulate its thanks as it's hauled from the hazardous sea, presumably to be deposited in calmer waters (and NOT imprisoned in some Shamu concentration camp, please). There's many lessons to be learned while playing with this toy, and most of them can be taught during bath time. Most excellent.

If the Whale Rescue doesn't float his or her boat, check out the Mummy Set or the Everglades set (shrink-wrapped bodies and gators, respectively). They're all about 50 bucks for hours of fun. At www.constplay.com.

Self-Cleaning Hip Hop

The thing many kids ask for during the holidays is a pet. Normally, this is frowned upon, since puppies and kittens can truly get caught in the holiday shuffle. But what about something far less demanding? What about... frogs?

This Frog-O-Sphere from Brookstone is a pretty nifty idea. They call it a "miniature community" consisting of a little aquarium, rocks, something called "Living Gravel", a plant, a cleaning tool and TWO African Dwarf frogs (I guess two makes a community. Maybe a calling them a couple is just too personal?). Anyway, this little ecosphere is pretty self-contained, requiring you and yours to do not much more than feed the happy hoppers (they're actually swimmers) twice a week with handy pellets. I myself have had these frogs in the past, and I must say that they're pretty cute and fun to watch.

Did I mention that the entire set up is just $40? And they supply a year's worth of food? Check it out at www.brookstone.com. It's hip hop you'll want your kids to play.

Star Maker

If you live in a populated area, chances are you have night time light pollution. Simply put, there's too much artificial light at night to allow the natural light of the stars to shine bright. That means that kids have never really seen the actual night sky in all its glory on a regular basis.

While this tiny facsimile of a night sky isn't the real McCoy, at least kids can use it to identify the stars in their proper places on the correct night. Just tap in the time, date and place, and the Star Theater reproduces your night sky right in the bedroom, complete with labels for proper star and planet identification. It's like having your very own planetarium, and is just the perfect gift for the curious nine year old in your life. This way, once you actually go camping or at least go somewhere without that light pollution, the kid can ID the stars.

Find the Star Theater (complete with meteor maker) at www.hearthsong.com.

Lightweight for Lightweights

I think it's always nice to have a toy or two lying around the living room, just in case someone (be it child or adult) wants to play. Of course, that doesn't mean plastic dreck. It means something arty and interesting.

These subtle cork blocks are arty and interesting. They're functional enough for any child (because, no matter how hard you try, most kids just aren't all that interested in aesthetics). But they're just fabulous enough, with an artsy pedigree and ultra-safe environmentally sound veggie dyes, to be of interest to design oriented adults. In short, these are a perfect gift for a parent who loves, as perhaps you do, to leave a toy or two out on the coffee table for the masses. Bring your friend a set, and see what evolves upon your return: a skyscaper, a castle, a canned soup factory.

An added plus? These are cork, folks, so no one gets hurt. Check them out at www.momastore.org.

Bites On The Run

Every mother knows the drill: you're out with your small child, and suddenly they're gripped with starvation style hunger. Problem is, you're unprepared. Besides hiring your very own boy scout to keep you loaded with delicious and filling snacks, what can a mother do?

These Little Bites silicone storage jars might be a start in the right direction. The lilliputian scale means they're easy to store, either in the car, your bag, or at home. They're equally at home in the fridge, at room temp, or in the microwave. And they are blessedly free of nasty chemicals like BPA, Phthalate, and lead (because poisoning your children as you're nourishing them is bad, bad form). Plus, they're an ideal baby shower add-on gift for a new mom, who will know nothing of the hungry wolf-like screams that can emanate from a backseat strapped, ravenous toddler. Give them the Little Bites and save them from this dreadful fate.

Find these adorable containers at www.mightynest.com. They don't come with the actual snacks, but I'm sure you can figure that part out.

Name in Lights

I want to reiterate strongly that I am not a fan of the monogram. I've always found them stuffy and silly in virtually any permutation. But when it comes to kids, all bets are off: they need to develop a love for letters, especially their own.

And what could be a better (and sneakier) way to throw a little ABC into their little lives than through this fabulous light fixture? Created by artist (NOT actress) Amy Adams, each little light shines a different letter of your choice. You could suspend these in a corner, with a lone first initial. You could spell out a three letter name in a staggered arrangement (for cost purposes, I wouldn't recommend anything longer). Or, you could go for the simple ABC, CAT or DOG. So many lighting options!

The light's bisque color also gives you tons of latitude in terms of kiddie decor. Check out the letter light at www.rompstore.com. At $110.00 each, these lights aren't exactly cheap, but what price would you place on literacy, anyway?

Sleeping in the Fall Foliage

Fall is a great time to do an overhaul on the little details at home, like pillow sham colors, sheets and accessories. And if your kid (or a kid you know and particularly like) needs new sheets, may I suggest these for the fall season and beyond?

Fact is, I loathe most "kids'" bedding. It's usually a themed disaster, merely a marketing tool at worst, or a juvenile visual cacophony at best. But these are modernist, classy, and boast some staying power. Boodalee's "In the Trees" sheet set is a simple wood grain print on lovely crisp bedding. It's fairly unisex, mostly because it's orange, a color that mixes equally well with blue, brown, or even pink (for the ecologically minded girly-girl). And because these are "good" sheets, as opposed to those pilled-up, threadbare messes from bargain stores, they'll actually last as long as good sheets should (which, depending on child-level punishment, could mean years of use).

You can find "In the Trees" at www.velocityartanddesign.com. And if, for some reason, orange doesn't float the decor boat, they have many other kiddie bedding choices, none of which are lame.

Send In the Clown

So you must remember this toy. The Bozo bop bag, in all its ugly glory. And oh, it is an ugly thing, but some toys become classics for a reason.

Because, let's face facts: you can teach the kid non-violence all day long, but every once in a while, they really need to cut loose on something. That something might as well be Bozo. First because he's a clown (I really, really HATE clowns; they're nastier than any monster), and second because this is harmless good fun. Bozo bounces back. Bozo takes no offense. Bozo takes all the abuse. And, once the kids have gone to bed, you can whale on Bozo's indestructible frame, too. Wow, good fun for the kids and therapy for you, all for under thirty bucks (well, maybe a little more, since you might want to spring for an electric pump to plump Bozo up to fighting form).

Summon Bozo into your life by going to www.backtobasicstoys.com. And the next time your child is beyond frustration, just send in the clown.